
The following talk was given by David Jevons to an audience of Sai Baba devotees who had gathered at the Mill Hill Sai Baba Centre in North London on April 8th 2001 for their usual Sunday morning meeting. It has been edited, but only for the purpose of reproducing it in this Newsletter.
THE TEST OF THE GURU
Ann and I live just outside of Vancouver, in Western Canada. We, along with many Sai devotees living there, have been
experiencing a very difficult time during this past year.
There have been many accusations of sexual impropriety made against Sai
Baba both on the Internet and in the newspapers.
Indeed, just before we left for India, there was a whole page in the
Vancouver Sun devoted to attacking Sai Baba.
I know that it’s difficult for some devotees to handle this sort of
thing, especially when their children return from school having been taunted for
following a guru who is alleged to have molested children.
People have been asking us “What should we do, how should we
respond?” I asked Sai Baba about
this very question and sought his advice on what we should say.
His reply was “Say whatever you like.”
He was not at all concerned by all the accusations being made against his
character. Now I feel that his
reply is significant because what he is actually saying is that all of us have
to make an individual choice about where we stand on this matter.
There is no group, no collective response to these accusations.
All of us are being tested individually.
We have to decide for ourselves, as individuals, whether we are going to
base our relationship with Sai Baba on our own experiences or whether we are
going to rely on the hearsay stories that are now being circulated.
I last went out to India to visit Sai Baba in January 1999. I was actually there for the festival of Shivaratri and
I was privileged to see Sai Baba produce a lingam out of his mouth, the first
time that he has done this in public for over twenty years.
When we planned our trip, we took great care to ensure that we wouldn’t
be at the ashram for Shivaratri, so as to avoid the vast crowds that attend this
festival. What we did not know,
however, was that Shivaratri was happening early that year and so we found
ourselves there bang in the middle of it. If
you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans!
God wanted us to be there for this auspicious event and His plans worked
perfectly. How happy and privileged
we were to be there, and to think that we tried to avoid it!
Well, you would think that we had learned our lesson by now.
We planned this trip very carefully so as avoid the time when Sai Baba
was going to be in Delhi and to ensure that we would be able to go to Kodaikanal
with him as we had done in the past, because it is so intimate there.
We carefully chose our dates and you can, of course, guess what happened.
Sai Baba stayed in Puttaparthi the whole time.
He completely changed his usual routine and, of course, it was just
perfect for us. We stayed in our own apartment in the ashram.
We did not have to chase around the country following him. We had a truly deep ashram experience together with the
closest contact that we have ever had with him.
So if you will just trust the Source, It will always put you in the right
place, at the right time, to give you the experience that is exactly right for
you.
As I have just mentioned, this past year has
been a difficult one for me personally. My
faith in Sai Baba has been severely tested by the accusations of sexual
impropriety that have been made against him in several countries. There has been
a great falling away amongst his devotees as a result of this. On the one hand I
have my own relationship with him over many years, which has truly changed my
life for the better in so many ways, but on the other hand the stories about
him, if they were true, were completely at odds with my understanding of who and
what he is, namely, the Avatar of the Age.
People were asking me where I stood on this matter and I simply could not
offer them a reply. On one point,
though, I was very clear. All we
have so far are allegations, nothing has been proven in a court of law, and
surely a person is presumed to be innocent until found guilty?
Many of his accusers have become fixated with the sexual allegations and
are completely ignoring all the good things that Sai Baba has done in the world,
his hospitals, his schools, his social programmes.
In an attempt to redress the balance Ann and I gave an interview to our
local newspaper, but the journalist concerned did not want to know about Sai
Baba’s good works. He put words
in our mouths that we had not said and produced a very biased article.
It was just total yellow journalism.
It was quite disgraceful. So
I would advise you all to be very careful in your dealings with the press and to
ensure that you have editorial control over what is printed.
Ann and I had planned to go out to India to join in the celebrations at
the ashram of Sai Baba’s 75th birthday in November 2000, but I felt
no call or need to go. Then I was
invited to speak in Vancouver, at the birthday celebrations to be held there,
and I felt that this was the omnipresent God telling me not to go.
So we decide to postpone our visit until the following year.
I was still in a state of mental turmoil.
I was grieving for the loss of a perfect relationship.
I resolved to give up all relationships with spiritual teachers, dead or
alive, and to concentrate on the God within me!
I began to wonder if this was the reason for this whole drama.
Perhaps it was a test designed to throw all Sai Baba’s devotees back on
themselves. Nevertheless I still
felt that I wanted to go out to see Sai Baba to face him with my problems and to
get some kind of resolution. I
instinctively knew that being in his aura, in the womb of the ashram, would give
me an answer. So we began to make our plans and decided to go in April,
when there were no big festivals and when, in all probability, he would be in
the intimate setting of Kodaikanal.
Even as I walked into the ashram I sensed that Prashanti Nilayam had not
changed one little bit. Prashanti
Nilayam is rather like the centre of a bicycle wheel, relatively peaceful and
moving very slowly when compared to the periphery of the wheel which, rather
like the outside world, is spinning round at a high speed. Both Sai Baba and the
ashram are completely untouched by all the activities in the world.
The stories and the rumours have no place here.
Swami has not changed one little bit.
His energy is still pure love, love, love.
He, being Truth, is fixed and unchangeable, is unaffected by the Maya of
the physical world around him. His
work continues hour after hour, day after day, as it always does.
He serves all who come to him regardless of race, colour or creed.
As I settled into the familiar ashram routine I began to realise that the
closer you are to him, both physically and mentally, the further away are all
the happenings of the outer world. I
realised that my relationship with Sai Baba was but a reflection of my
relationship with God. Here in the
ashram, physically and mentally close to Swami, I wondered how I could ever have
doubted him. If we keep Swami in
our hearts, as indeed we should keep God in our hearts, every waking second of
the day, so our faith will remain focused.
It is only when we separate ourselves from Swami, and indeed from God,
that doubts and uncertainties assail us, that trials and tribulations come to
test us.
Now because I was an airline pilot for much of my working life, Sai Baba
uses the analogy of a plane when describing his mission to me.
On his 65th birthday he said that his plane was taxiing out to
the runway for departure. On his 70th
birthday he said that his plane was lined up on the runway, all ready for take
off. In our last interview he said
that on his 75th birthday his plane will be taking off.
Now this plane is not a physical plane.
I believe that it is a plane of liberation and that what is taking place
now, in this gigantic leela that Swami is playing, is in actual fact a selection
process, because to get on the plane you have to have a boarding card.
We, with Swami’s help, are all trying to get our boarding cards, we are
all trying to get on that plane. We
had an interview with Sai Baba three years ago when he suddenly volunteered the
information to us “A big scandal is
coming, and when you come to the ashram there will be three rooms available for
anyone who wants one.” Now at the time we didn’t know what he was talking about,
but he was obviously prophesying that there would be a great falling away of his
devotees, a clearing out of those who did not have total faith, that did not
believe in him and his mission. So
I believe that the present scenario is a test designed and implemented by Swami
for no other reason than to test the faith of his devotees.
If I, with the experience of my long relationship with him, was being
tested, then how much more so was the ordinary devotee who had had very little
physical contact with him. If I was
saying “How can the Avatar of the Age behave like this?
How can he be so undharmic?” then I was obviously failing the test. I was forgetting exactly what is the role of the Avatar
and how he will doing anything, including sacrificing his name and his
reputation, for his devotees if it will help them along the path to liberation.
I realised that I was getting trapped in Maya.
So when I got to the ashram I said in my mind “Swami, I’ve come here
to resolve my problems and I expect that you, in your inimitable way, will do
this for me”. I did not have long
to wait, for on my second day there I read on the thought for the day notice
board the following quotation by Sai Baba.
‘Avatars
too are not exempt from wicked forces. The
good are always the target of malice and envy, slander and abuse from the
wicked. Be assured that your
goodness can be made tough enough to stand these ordeals.
Avatars too are not exempt from the attention of these wicked forces.’
I
said a mental “Thank you, Swami“ and smiled inwardly to myself.
I held these words in my heart until, lo and behold, three days later
there was another quotation by Sai Baba waiting for me on the notice board.
‘The
enemy takes delight in abusing you, and it is said in the Puranas that, as a
consequence, he goes on diminishing and wiping off from your karmic account the
demerits that you have to live out in misery.
The faster and the fouler his abuse, the sooner and better are your
future prospects brightened. The
enemy absorbs your sins and their effects.
Moreover, he is a good instrument to serve you to keep alert to your own
conscience. Be thankful to him who
talks ill of you, for surely he is doing you a very great service.’
Again
I said a mental “Thank you, Swami”. The
message was beginning to get through. My
faith was beginning to flower again.
Prashanti Nilayam, which translates as The Abode of the Highest Peace, is
a place of transformation. It is
rather like stepping into a melting pot which boils and brings all your
impurities to the surface for you to face and to transmute.
So all is not perfection within the ashram. Everyone, without exception, is having to face and to handle
their ‘stuff’, everything which has arisen from times when they have become
separated from God. If you look
with an aware eye you can see Sai Baba’s presence in every situation, in every
point of conflict. In this
sense the ashram is a microcosm of the outside world although, of course, you
have Sai Baba’s physical presence as a bonus to help you to handle whatever
arises. Never underestimate Sai
Baba’s transforming power. It
touches every aspect of your life in the ashram.
If you walk around with awareness you will see Sai Baba’s hands in
everything. I remember being told
that Isaac Tigrett, the man who donated the money for The Super Speciality
Hospital, said to Sai Baba “Swami, can I run your ashram for you?
I’ll get rid of all the problems.”
Sai Baba responded “No thank you, my ashram runs very nicely, just the
way I want it”. This means that
the conflicts and clashes with both devotees and the ashram staff are all part
of the healing and the transformative process.
Whilst staying in the ashram I was
reading this wonderful book, I don’t know if any of you have heard of it,
called ‘Other than You refuge there is
none’ by Smt. Vijaya Kumari.
This is a wonderful account of a lady’s relationship with Sai Baba over
a period of more than fifty years and describes some wonderful incidents with
Swami when he was in his twenties and thirties. The book shines with devotion
and gives some wonderful insights into Swami’s nature and actions.
Apparently Swami told devotees on his birthday to read this book. Anyway, what amazed me, was that almost on the very last page
I read that Swami once joked “If there
is no criticism of me, I will have to
buy some with money”. Now
that’s an amazing statement to make. This means that criticism of the Avatar
is an essential part of the avatars role, and helps us to understand why Sai
Baba says “Without darkness there cannot
be light, without wickedness we cannot
appreciate dharma” and “Without
Ravana, Rama would not be great”. Everything
that happens is all part of God’s plan to bring us back to Him, to help us to
realise that we are no different from God.
It is because of my problems with the ashram staff that Ann sometimes
calls me “On again, off again David”. This
is because although Swami has given me permission to sit on the Verandah, just
outside his room in the Mandir, the ashram staff keep on throwing me off. This has happened twice now.
The problem is that the ashram staff don’t remember my face when I
return after a year away. However
it really does not worry me where I sit. In
actual fact there’s a part of me that quite enjoys sitting in the darshan
lines, because you see everything that’s going on in darshan, you meet
interesting people and you get a real feel for what’s happening in the ashram.
Anyway I was happy to sit in the darshan lines this visit because I had
my daughter’s boyfriend with me who had never been to Prashanti Nilayam before
and who did not know all the procedures to follow.
So I was keeping him company. On the third morning of our visit we had
our first interview with Sai Baba and Ann told him that I had been thrown off
the Verandah again. Swami said
“I’ll take care of it, I’ll take care of it”.
For the next two days I went to see Swami’s secretary, who takes care
of such matters, to ask if I could sit on the Verandah, but he said “Not yet,
not yet”. Now I’m very used to
this “Not yet” because it means that nothing has been done!
On the third day, when I was sitting in darshan, I suddenly noticed the
security staff come in and start to walk around, obviously looking for someone.
I said to Diana’s boyfriend “Look, the security staff are looking for
someone. The last time I saw this
it was to throw some poor man out of the ashram!”.
However the security men couldn’t find the person for whom they were
looking and so they went away. A few minutes later they were back again, walking
along the lines saying something. As
one man got near me, I heard what he was saying.
“Jevons UK. Jevons UK.”
I thought to myself “Oh my god, that’s me! What
have I done wrong now? Why am I
being thrown out?” This whole
incident was taking place just before Swami entered for darshan and was being
watched by thousands of people. I
was escorted up to meet Swami’s secretary, who was standing in front of the
Verandah. He said “Go and sit on
the Veranda immediately, before Swami comes.”
He was looking very worried. Perhaps
it was because Swami had told him to reinstate me but he had procrastinated
about it! I thankfully sat down on
the Verandah and a few minutes later Swami was standing in front of me, smiling
an acknowledgement. He had
reinstated me in front of twenty thousand witnesses.
What a leela! It will be
interesting to see what happens when I return next year.
One of the advantages of sitting on the Verandah is that you get to see
just who is going in and out of the interview room.
You really see Sai Baba at work. I
would like you to understand that Sai Baba giving darshan and granting
interviews to devotees is only a very small part of his day.
There is a constant stream of people going into that interview room;
teachers, doctors, builders, ashram staff, financiers and people of influence
not just from India but from all over the world. His day does not end with darshan, it just begins.
He is rather like the chief executive officer of a vast company.
After all he is overseeing two large hospitals, several schools and
universities, social programs and civil projects, not to mention the world wide
Sai Organisation. Sai Baba has his
finger on the pulse of everything and people are constantly coming to him,
asking questions and seeking advice.
I now want to pass on to you a lovely story which was told to me by a
doctor sitting on the Verandah. Apparently
there was a very poor young Indian woman who was in the Super Speciality
Hospital for her first baby, because there were problems with the unborn foetus.
The doctors didn’t know whether to abort the foetus and save the
mother’s life, or to let the foetus stay in the mother’s womb and risk her
life. They prayed for help. Soon
afterwards the foetus’ pulse stopped. So they were forced to operate and to take the dead foetus
out, thus ensuring the mother’s safety. The
young mother was a simple peasant woman, very distressed by her loss and by
being in a hospital miles from her home and her family.
Then the doctors heard that Sai Baba was coming down to visit the
hospital. They said “Oh, Sai Baba
is coming to see us.” So they all
lined up, waiting for Sai Baba to come. When Sai Baba arrived he walked right
past the line of doctors and walked straight to the room where the young mother
was recuperating. He spent thirty
minutes with her, comforting her. Such is the nature of divine love!
One day I spoke to a Sai devotee in the Western canteen. He was an Indian from Glasgow, who spoke with a broad
Glaswegian accent which somewhat threw me!
He was here with his wife to whom he had been married for about seven
years but who wasn’t a devotee at all. In
fact quite the reverse. They had
two young children, and she was carrying their third. He had not been out to see
Sai Baba for ten years because his wife did not want to come. Finally she had agreed to come to the ashram for her first
visit, but she was not convinced as to who Swami is.
She soon wanted to return home but her husband urged her to stay, at the
same time offering up a prayer for help. Now his wife was seven months pregnant
with their third child and as she sat in darshan she suddenly noticed that every
time Sai Baba walked by the baby began moving and kicking in her womb.
At first she thought it was a coincidence but then she realised that in
every single darshan the baby was kicking when Sai Baba walked by.
The rest of the day it was quite still.
She began to think that perhaps the unborn foetus was recognising
something that she wasn’t! She
opened her closed mind and began to receive Swami’s unconditional love and as
a result she decided to stay!
In the afternoons Swami used to give a very quick
darshan and then he would sit at the front of the Verandah in a swivel chair
facing the students and teachers and engage in a lively dialogue with them,
twirling first one way and then the other.
A great deal of the interchange was with Anil Kumar, his interpreter.
Sometimes he spoke in English, sometimes in Telegu, which was very
frustrating. To be so close and yet
not to understand! I felt that
Swami was giving a great boon to all the devotees who were sitting there,
boiling in the hundred and ten degrees temperature.
He was rewarding them for their devotion.
I believe that I had more darshan in this last trip than I have had in
any of my previous fifteen trips. For
two to three hours every day Swami was sitting there, just giving of his energy,
but an amazing thing happened. Many
devotees got up and walked out after his formal ten minute darshan was over,
believing that darshan was finished. I
just could not believe it. The
Avatar of the Age was sitting there and they were walking away from him. They
were being given a gift longed for by beings on the higher realms of life and,
out of ignorance, they were not taking advantage of this unique opportunity.
I suddenly became very conscious of the sorting of the wheat from the
chaff and of the analogy of Swami’s plane taking off.
I would now like to share very briefly with you a few points from the many
conversations that I overheard on the Verandah between Swami and the teachers
and students from his schools during their talks in the afternoon. Swami said
that our breathing controls the length of our lives. Man takes five to seven breaths a minute and lives for
seventy years.
A snake
takes two breaths a minute and lives for one hundred and fifty years.
A dog takes thirty seven breaths a minute and lives for ten years.
The moral is clear. Do what
all the yogis do. Slow down the
rate at which you breath to ensure a longer life.
Someone asked him why Avatars always seem to incarnate in India. Swami
replied to this by using the analogy of a train.
He said that India is the engine and all the other countries are the
carriages on the train and where would you expect to find the engine driver but
on the engine. He talked a great
deal about magnetic forces and their unseen influence on many aspects of human
life. In particular he referred to
the magnetic forces in the Earth and how beneficial it was to our energy levels
to walk with bare feet on the ground. Swami
also stressed the need for all of us to talk less.
If we all talked less we would save energy and need less sleep.
He said that an adept who talks very little only needs two hours sleep.
To the students who were leaving his school to go out in the world he
warned them always to keep good company. He
stressed that we really don’t need all our many friends.
God is our only real friend and we should pay attention to this
relationship. All other
relationships are temporary, limited by birth and death, but our relationship
with God is eternal. He reiterated
his old saying ‘ Show me the company you keep, and I will tell you what sort
of person you are’. He said that
East and West have to work together. The
East represents spirituality and the West technology and we need to build a
bridge between them. In one
dramatic scene he manifested Draupadi’s hair clip, a magnificent jewel from
five thousand years ago, which he passed around to the students for them to
examine. They clustered around the
jewel, talking excitedly as they examined it, totally ignoring Swami who wryly
remarked “Here you have a perfect example of Maya.
They are more interested in the creation than the person who created
it!” I will end with a wonderful
story told to me by a gentleman who was sitting on the Verandah.
The event happened many years ago, at a time when Sai Baba used to walk
down to the Chithravathi river from the ashram with his devotees.
They used to pass a house where a widow lived.
Her husband had been a soldier but he had died many years ago whilst
serving in the army. She used to
exchange a few words with Swami when he walked by.
One day Swami asked her what she wanted.
She replied that she wanted a photograph of her dead husband in his
military uniform. The problem was that no photograph had ever been taken! Swami asked her to follow him down to the river.
Once there he put his hand in the sand of the river bed and pulled out a
photograph of her husband in his military uniform, a photograph that had never
been taken and had never existed. Truly
Swami can make the impossible possible.
As I said earlier, it was very hot during our
stay in Prashanti Nilayam. Sitting in darshan every day was an act of tapas, of
penance, and I sweated pounds and pounds away.
As I settled into the familiar ashram routine so the outside world
gradually began to slip away. I was
not aware of and did not care for what was happening in that world.
I soon began to realise that the life that I led out there was really not
important. If I never returned to
it again, it would not matter. What
was important was my relationship with God.
That was all that concerned me.
From this perspective I could see that life is just a game, a game that I
have played many times, in many different bodies. What was important was not the game, but what the game taught
me about myself. I could see now
why Sai Baba warns us not to get attached to the world, which is both temporary
and illusory. All our human
suffering comes from our attachments to the world.
Sai Baba says, “Get rid of your
attachments and you will have
liberation”. Many
people protest to Sai Baba that it is so difficult to do this, almost
impossible, to which he replies “It is
far harder, it takes more energy to hold on than to let go.”
He picks up a handkerchief and then drops it saying “It
is as easy as that. You just have
to let go, that is all.”
Liberation can be achieved simply by letting go of everything that is not
permanent and nothing in the physical world is permanent, even the planet
itself. One of the primary
tasks of the Avatar is to remind Humanity of its goal and is to encourage those
who are ready for it to achieve it. To
this end Sai Baba will subject his devotees to any test that will help them
along the path to liberation.
The danger always exists, of course, that we
become attached to the Avatar, to the bringer of the message rather than to the
message. That is why Sai Baba is always cautioning us not to get
attached to his form which, he says, will one day die.
He says “This body is not special.
Do not get deluded because I talk, laugh,
walk and eat like you. Do not get deluded by this body feeling. This body is
rust and dust. This body will die”.
So Sai Baba too is just an actor on the stage of life and, as such, we
should not look to him but to the omnipresent God, the eternal Divine Force that
is present in everything and everyone, that is always with us.
Ann and I call this Divine Force ‘Super Sai‘ and over the years this
force has grown more pre-eminent in our lives, to the extent that we are now
never without it. We are aware that
It controls every aspect of our lives. We
pray to It, we talk to It, we invoke It. We
are aware that at all times It is guiding us, protecting us and placing us in
the right position at the right time to fulfil our divine task in this life.
Before
we departed on this his trip Ann was worrying about the air travel and the time
change and the little group that we were taking, but the voice of Super Sai came
to her and clearly said “Don’t worry. I
will take care of everything” and It did. I awoke in my bedroom down in Glastonbury only two days
ago in the middle of the night, because I had to go to the bathroom. To my utter
amazement there standing at the bottom of my bed, looking at me, was the
ethereal form of Sai Baba. I could
not believe it, there was Sai Baba looking at me.
So even in your sleep, Sai Baba is still protecting you.
In the Kali Yuga Age that is the great promise of the Avatar. “I
come to protect my devotees” and that is why Sai Baba says
“Why fear when I am here.” If
we walk with God we have nothing to fear in this world but fear itself.
If we walk with God and trust the path that God has chosen for us, then
liberation will be ours. Remember,
though, that Sai Baba has said “Millions
will come to me, millions will know me
but only a handful will achieve liberation.”
So the path is a narrow one. Liberation
is not for everyone in this cycle.
How
many of us are prepared to sacrifice our name, our fame, our wealth, even our
health, to achieve this goal? The
greatest gift that Sai Baba can bestow upon us is not his form, is not the rings
and watches that he manifests for us, is not the interviews that he gives us, is
not even his darshan, though it is longed for by the gods of the highest
heavens, it is the gift of liberation. Sai
Baba has said that such an opportunity will not come our way again.
Liberation can be ours, no matter where we live.
We don’t have to go to India to achieve liberation.
It can be ours, right now, in the twinkling of an eye as we release our
attachments to our false identities. So
let us not be distracted by this test of the guru. It will only become a test if we choose to make it so.
Many will be affected by it, many will fall away, but if you have
established a bond of love with Sai Baba, if your heart rather than your head
tells you that he is indeed the long awaited Avatar of the Age, then trust your
inner feelings. I will close with
the words of the Avatar. Let them ring in your ears during this testing time.
“So many great things are going to take place. Everything seen, heard or felt will turn sacred. All this is going to happen soon. Do not miss this sacred opportunity and waste it. Once lost you will never again get it. Once obtained you will never lose it.”